I’ve been reading this book by Lysa TerKeurst called Uninvited. I’ve only read the first chapter, but the first chapter talked about all these little hurts and rejections that we carry with us and that affect the way we perceive other people and situations. All of those words, and comments, and people, and events in our life that do not get tied up in a bow—the ones that become part of us not because they are an example of a happy story but because they hurt and affect and shape us so much that we cannot forget them.
I write a lot on here about difficult times that have turned into grace or peace or joy. About happy little endings and neat little bows. Allow me to be clear about something: life isn’t always that way. Knowing that all things work together for good or knowing that God has great things in store or knowing what I deserve from the friendships and people in my life does not make it any easier to implement those thoughts and beliefs in everyday life. So, let me just say that I realize it is hard. Life is hard. Being a Christian is hard. Being a person is hard. Always doing the right thing or taking the high road or seeing the silver lining is hard. And sometimes, life does not always hand us those neat little bows.
Take my post about friendship, for example. I wrote about being critical of the people in your life and making sure they are wise, Christ-like friends who support you and love you and help you grow closer to Jesus. That’s great. I realize the truth in it. I have been convicted about examining my own relationships. Here’s the thing. I recently sat on my porch for an hour crying profusely because I realized that a very important relationship in my life is one that is not fulfilling those criteria. No matter how much I may want that person to care about me as much as I care about them, or how much I want our friendship to be one that is centered on Christ and a place of growth and love for both of us, I have to be realistic that it is not that type of relationship. Knowing the importance of Biblical friendships and being careful about choosing the people in my life does not make the end of that friendship any easier. It does not make distancing myself from that person any less heartbreaking.
So, I just wanted to say to those of you that know all of these good and encouraging things and still struggle anyway, I hear you. I’m with you, right there in that valley. I know that life is not all neat bows and happy smiles and stories that go from a Point A where there’s a struggle to Point B where there’s a blessing. Don’t mistake me. God works in our lives every single day. He brings us through the hard times to times of peace and blessing and joy and all the good things we could never hope or imagine for ourselves without His providence. Let me also say this. Sometimes He leaves those hurts that don’t get resolved. Those problems that don’t always work out. Sometimes He leaves us in that place and takes us in another direction. We go from Point A to Point C and we skip Point B altogether. Maybe it means that God just didn’t mean for that relationship or opportunity to work out. Maybe it is all a part of His plan for where He is trying to take us and we will just never understand why some people are the way they are or why some things never work out the way we hope. His will is greater than ours, people. His wisdom is greater than ours.
Maybe He is taking that undone bow and using it to tie a different shape. Or maybe He is taking that undone bow and using it for material in a longer strand for a bigger bow. We just don’t know. I want to assure you of this—if you’re out there and you feel like you’ve got a lot of things going on that are not ending up in those neat little bows, if you are facing struggles that aren’t coming to a happy resolution or you have people and factors in your life that you don’t understand, you aren’t alone. Maybe it will take time. And maybe there are the wounds and hurts and hurdles that don’t heal. We carry them and they make us stronger and prepare us for where God is ultimately leading us. His divine purpose and plan for our lives. I ask you to believe in Him, even when it is hard. Especially when it is hard. And know that I am struggling on that journey with you, fighting through all of these undone bows.
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of their troubles. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and save such as have a contrite spirit.
Psalm 34:17
If you’ve got a broken heart today, if you are struggling to live daily by the verses and the principles that you know are true, cry out to God and wait for Him to help you. Ask for Him to help you understand the undone bows, or to give you peace and strength to grow from them. He is near to the broken-hearted. He is near to you in the time of struggle. He is there to hold your hand through all the hurts that just won’t go away, no matter how much you want to see the silver lining that just doesn’t seem to be there. He loves you anyway, even if you aren’t always singing sunshine and living like your life is rainbows. He’s there when it’s pouring down and you can’t see through all the rain.
all my love, ki
