Does anyone else ever have those moments where you want to smack yourself on the forehead like those old V8 commercials? You know what I mean. Those moments where you just have to stop and say “KI, YOU ARE BEING SO DUMB RIGHT NOW.” Except you wouldn’t be calling yourself Ki. Anyway, the point is that I have come to realize that I do a lot of the same things over and over again, things that always, without fail, lead to me stopping and realizing how dumb I’ve been, or how much I’ve messed up, or how I will never do that again. The thing is… I keep doing it again and again! For purposes of this article, and not a larger examination of my shortcomings in other areas of my life, I am talking about my short-term memory when it comes to my relationship with God.
I’m a lot like the Israelites as they were wandering in the wilderness. God literally parted the Red Sea and led them out of captivity in Egypt. He provided manna for them to eat. He made water flow from a rock. He performed all of the miracles, all of the time. Even so, these people were constantly complaining and constantly doubting. “Why did we leave Egypt? It wasn’t so bad there. How are we ever going to get to this supposed Promised Land?” When they did make it to the edge of the Promised Land and Moses sent spies to check it out, all but two of the spies came back and talked about the giants who lived in the land. Then the refrain was, “Why did we leave Egypt? We will never defeat these giants that live here. We should have stayed as slaves.” I’m paraphrasing, of course, but that was the general sentiment. Over and over, the Israelites kept looking back at their lives and saying “we shouldn’t have left” when things became the least bit hard on their journey to the Promised Land. I was hard core judging them for their lack of faith in the midst of ongoing daily miracles from God, but I learned two really important things from the Israelites.
Lesson #1: I do the exact same thing. I have a remarkably short-term memory when it comes to seeing God’s work in my life and what He has done for me. The Israelites were so consumed with their doubt and unbelief that they couldn’t see how far they had already come. They certainly didn’t have faith in God to follow through on His promise and continue to keep them safe through the journey. I, too, am so quick to forget how God has already redeemed my life, and how far he Has already brought me. I am so quick to forget that He sent His son to die on the cross for my sins. I am so quick to forget His providence and the many times I have seen Him come through for me. Sometimes I go back and read my own words on this blog and think “am I really the girl that wrote those?” because I am so quick to fall back into old habits of taking control away from God, struggling to trust Him, and turning to the things of the world instead of my faith. Anyone else in that boat with me and the Israelites? Well, y’all, it’s a boat we need to stop rowing. In those moments when we start to forget God’s promises and we start to feel overwhelmed by the pressures of our world and our circumstances, we must stop and remind ourselves of all that God has already done for us. There is no room for fear, doubt, and disbelief when we consider the personal experiences we have already had with God’s love and deliverance.
Lesson #2: In the midst of trials, especially when the future is uncertain or unknown, it is so easy to look back on past circumstances with rose-colored glasses. Whatever our past circumstances were, be they good, bad, or mediocre, they become our safety net and our comfort zone. We immediately think to ourselves – no, I should go back. Whatever I left isn’t that bad. Whatever motivated me to make this change in my life and try this new path isn’t really worth it. NO. STOP. While it is so easy to do that, that line of thinking robs us of the joy of trusting God to lead us into uncharted waters. It robs us of the opportunity to grow in faith as we trust Him on the journey. We do not want to be the Israelites here. We want to learn from them and do better. We want to journey confidently with God and TRUST HIM to shepherd us, guide us, and provide for us.
I am challenging myself, and you, to stop being like the Israelites. Instead, I am challenging us to be like Caleb and Joshua. Remember I said all but two of the spies came back and said there was no way for the Israelites to beat the giants? That means two people came back and said it could be done. Two people believed in God’s promises and His ability to fulfill them. Two people trusted that God would not have brought them that far to only bring them that far. Two people had the faith that God called them to have, and because of that they were richly blessed. Let’s be like them.
“The land we passed through to spy out is an exceedingly good land. If the Lord delights in us, then He will bring us into this land and give it to us, ‘a land which flows with milk and honey.’ Only do not rebel against the Lord, nor fear the people of the land, for they are our bread; their protection has departed from them, and the Lord is with us. Do not fear them.”
Numbers 14:7-9
all my love, ki
